ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
_____________________________
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
_____________________________
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Tehe-tehe...na kuendelea...
ReplyDeleteFunny,very funny!!!
Nimepata kitu kingine to smile about on my way to bed!!!
~Sam.
ahahahahhaahaahhahaaaaaaaa! yaani duhh! kazi kwelikweli kaka michuzi na hivi vijimambo vyako maana vimenigusa, ahahahhahahahhahaaa!
ReplyDeleteKwenye ile ya marriage, wote huwa wanaanza kama "smart", kwa hiyo inakuwa romance. Kitakachofuata baada ya hapo kitategemea nani atakayanza kukolewa na hiyo romance kuliko mwenzake, ndiye atakayeanza kupoteza usmati. Akianza kukolea mwanamke anakuwa "dumb" inakuwa affair, kisha bwana naye anakolewa wanakuwa dumb wote, so wanajiachia, kitu kinaitika, kitumbo nduu na mimate kwa sana! Hapo hakuna ndoa tena, ni mtu kuzalishwa na kutemwa! Kama akianza kukolea huyo bwana, yeye ndo anakuwa "dumb" anaanza mwenyewe kuomba ndoa. Ndoa ikishafungwa mwanamke nae anaona alichokihitaji amepata, anakuwa "dumb" na yeye, wanajiachia, mimba! Somo ni kwa wanawake wanaotaka kuolewa, wahakikishe wanawa-"outsmart" wanaume wao tangu mapema, vinginevyo ni bao tu! Wahakikishe mwanaume anaomba ndoa kwenye ile stage ya "romance", wakichelewa jamaa akifika kwenye "affair" wameumia, ni bao na kutemwa!
ReplyDeleteI love that " smart woman , dumb man = marriage " tehe tehe teheeeeeee
ReplyDelete